The notion of a one-man band has always seemed like a bit of a novelty to me. Whenever I used to hear or read of an artist who supposedly played every single note on his or her recordings, the image I conjured would be something along the lines of this:



That, or Prince.

It wasn’t until one fateful day in late 2002, when after a long, ponderous rehearsal with a band I was trying to flesh out did I, like Jane Goodall and her fastidious chimps, finally understand the logic behind the one-man band: frustrated with incompetent musicians, the one-man band seeks to throw caution to the wind, take charge of his or her own art, and unleash it upon the world regardless of technical or sonic limitations. With this sentiment in mind I began spending my days sleeping and my nights writing and recording songs by my lonesome.

Handling all of the vocal, guitar, bass, percussion, and keyboard duties on his 21-song behemoth of an album, Withstand The Whatnot, Sean Padilla (a.k.a. the Cocker Spaniels) seems to have been bitten by the one-man band bug, as well.

But, let’s cut to the chase: what are some things you, the all-powerful consumer, need to know about this record so you can ultimately decide whether or not to pick it up?

1) Who is this guy?

Sean Padilla is Stephen Malkmus minus all the white-boy pretense, Rivers Cuomo minus the neuroses and the Asian girl fixation, and Robert Pollard plus or minus 3 songs. He's got a heart of gold and loves cute, furry things.

2) What does the album sound like?

Most of the songs sound like an amalgam of all the aforementioned artists’ bands with Mr. Padilla’s own unique twist. “Noisy, smart-alecky, lo-fi alt-rock”, perhaps? Padilla’s voice is much like his music, completely distinctive but procuring enough from the past to sound somewhat familiar. To put it in press clip-ready terms:

Each tune exudes an effortless exuberance that could only come from a lifetime of incessant music consumption; every track is positively illuminated with a wondrous sense of style, structure, and craft. And while his songs remain firmly rooted in the past, all of the aforementioned elements are distinctly Mr. Padilla’s.

3) Is there anything you particularly like or dislike about the record?

The songs are pretty much all top-notch; there’s nothing to really dislike here. If you’re visiting Scene Point Blank, there’s a solid chance that you’ll probably dig the Cocker Spaniels. Padilla’s lyrics are intelligent and pointed a great majority of the time, but, occasionally, he’ll come up with a few hamfisted duds (case in point: from “The Thugs Have Left The Building”- ‘I may use a fist/or pull out a gun/whatever it takes/to get the job done’). A great example of Padilla’s witty style of discourse, however, can be found in “Finals Season”. A cleverly written account of turning a GPA from “a 2.1 into a 3.6” “Finals Season” is set against an infectious, almost Pavement-esque waltz. Another example of Padilla’s brilliant grasp on language and the art of storytelling is the utterly charming “Little League (a.k.a. the Continuing Adventures of Baby Brother), with its catchy refrain- ‘now I’m not saying that he ain’t smart/and I’m not saying that I ain’t strong/but if comparisons must be made/then I’m the brains/and he’s the brawn’- strikes me as a cross between an alt-pop nursery rhyme and the soundtrack to the old SNES game, F-Zero.

Throughout the songs, an almost jazzy quality pervades the mix- most notably, in the harmonies and the drums, which swing rather than batter senselessly. As far as things I dislike, the mix I received (I reviewed the unmastered version of Withstand the Whatnot) is simply atrocious- the drums are almost inaudible and the vocals are much too high in the mix. But, I suppose that's the price one pays for remaining "lo-fi". While I wouldn’t consider any of the songs filler by any stretch of the imagination, since just about everything here is catchy as hell and memorable in some way, shape, or form- with the exception of "Telemarketing Song", which should've been cut, plain and simple- I do believe many of Withstand the Whatnot's tracks could’ve stood to have been trimmed just a tad in the running time department.

4) All right. You have me sold, Jon, what with your winning smile and brilliant “style of discourse”, as you put it so eloquently. But I have a severe case of ADHD, so, can you give me five sentences on why should I plunk down my hard-earned cash on this album?

Plain and simple, friend of friends: the songs are great. I don’t think I can stress this enough. Padilla may like to sweet talk his tunes into spending the night just so he can dress them up in frilly suits, pompadours, and feather boas, but there’s no concealing the fact that these are some solid, well-written songs. Moreover, this record warrants repeated listens, as many of these tracks take more than one listen to truly reveal themselves and sink in- little sonic treasures such as backwards guitar, synthesizer flourishes, and quirky little sound effects begin to crop up after multiple run-throughs. So, then, why should you give this record a spin, my ailing compadré? Fashion and economics.

8.7/10

--- March 2, 2004